How do we get through the hard?

Last week was hard. 

I had to lay a co-worker who took his own life to rest on Friday morning. 

Then merely hours later, I got the opportunity to see my sister rehearse for her wedding. 

I saw people who claim to be equal and open minded, publicly call others slurs and slander the intelligence of those who do not agree. 

I had to fight with a car dealership because after I signed papers they decided to add 2 grand in expenses - although we had already agreed on a value price. 

I was waking up at 5 AM, leaving the house by 6 AM, and was lucky to get home by 8:30 PM at the earliest. 

Last week was hard. 

It was contradictory in the sense that I was so excited to celebrate my sister's love - yet I couldn’t stop thinking about the love I could have given those around me who maybe needed a little more. 

I hurt knowing that others are hurting and sometimes as much as you want to help, you can’t. 

I got angry seeing the political hypocrisy that was transpiring in tenfold and the hatefulness spewed from both sides instead of the ability to discuss differences and the lack of realizations that everyone has a reason to curate their own beliefs. 

I was just simply exhausted by the energy that surrounded me. 

I get genuinely distraught at the thought of people believing that the world would be better without them in it. Yet I have recently seen others confirming that thought over a difference in beliefs regarding political policies. 

Last week was hard.

But yet I am choosing to feel fortunate. 

Fortunate that I have a family I can lean on and friends surrounding me when I don’t feel so strong. 

Fortunate that I feel comfortable within the autonomy I have over my own body. I know that no one else can create happiness within myself and the words and actions of others cannot take that happiness away.

I have spent years learning, acknowledging, and working towards this peace that I find stability within.

I’m fortunate to have a job I have found passion in which now, more than ever, I can’t wait to succeed at. A career I know will change many lives.

I feel fortunate that in the wake of my co-workers passing, I have been able to see a community I was already so proud of - show up time and time again for those around them.

Even though the world hasn’t always been kind to them or supportive of them. 

I feel fortunate that in times of need, I have been able to show others that life is worth living by sharing my hardships and how I’ve personally pushed on. 

And this is just another example of how resilient we are.

I’m extremely fortunate that every day last week I created a space to move my body, for myself, by myself, to clear out the energies that some days seemed entirely consuming.

And even though there has been hate, anger, and sadness - I have also seen so much love, compassion, and joy from those I choose to surround myself with and learn from. 

So, yes... Last week was hard. 

But I am choosing to find light where there is plenty of darkness in the world. 

I learned long ago that if we go searching for the issues, they will be found. 

I am leaning into the things I can change - my dietary habits, how I treat my body and those around me - instead of hyper fixating on the things I do not have the power to shift. 

And I recognize that I have survived hard weeks, just like you, and have only come out stronger. What has been learned in the hard weeks, allows me to appreciate the beauty that life can give in the juxtaposing moments. 

But for now - I will find moments of beautiful rest and ease because you can handle the hard, but you shouldn’t have to all the time. 

With lots of love, 

Tia